Stress & Relaxation Pt II

It has taken me a long time to understand the practice and process of relaxation, and the journey still continues. It’s a word we often hear, an elusive physical, mental and emotional state that still holds many secrets. Biologically speaking, relaxation is associated with the parasympathetic nervous system - the yin to the yang of stressful sympathetic nervous system arousal. It’s that time when we feel safe, our breath deepens, our stomachs growl and prepare to digest food. We might begin to feel sleepy and prepare for rest.

Perhaps because of our collective priorities of productivity and achievement, we tend to hear a lot more about the stress response than the process of relaxation. What the body and mind do during this time, and what life is like when experienced from a balanced nervous system where relaxation is fully available to us, is something that has not seemed to inspire a lot of research. It feels somewhat taken for granted: the ’rest and digest’ state; an optimal time to eat, sleep, and regenerate. However, in my own long journey developing a relationship with my nervous system, I believe there is so much more to understand about this biological phenomenon.

We might best explore this topic in relation to what it’s not - the adrenalin and cortisol fuelled survival mode. When our nervous systems are occupied with the basic tasks of survival (or, perhaps less dramatically achieving the important obligations and tasks we are responsible for), there is a shallowness of perception, a laser focus on getting something done as efficiently as possible, at getting through the day, the week, the year. We might be cut off from sensations in our body, events in our day, interactions with people, experiences that we don’t have time or energy to process. On the other hand, when we slow down and shift into the ‘rest and digest’ mode, the opportunity to enter into thrive presents itself. Time slows down and offers itself to us as a gift to be enjoyed. When relaxed, we become aware, we breath, process, and ideally, create, evaluate, digest not only our food, but maybe our entire day. It’s a time of healing and renewal at all layers of being, a time to review, to be able to think, see, hear and feel clearly. To take in not only the most pertinent information for our immediate survival, but also the more subtle, a time to broaden our perspectives, express our unique needs, express our individuality. During times of relaxation, we have enough inner bandwidth to make important long-term decisions, to make plans, to communicate effectively with the people in our lives. We cannot do these things when we are running from the proverbial tiger of the stress response.

In my own experience, becoming aware of how my body feels, the messages I might be getting from my emotions and memories of the day, are not always easy to sit with. Does this sound familiar - you’ve been rushing around all day, some things have gone well, some things haven’t gone so well, and when you stop and slow down, there is a struggle. I might reach for my phone to scroll, find it difficult to fall asleep or even lie still. It can be hard to relax. Sitting with the feelings of the day can be intense and uncomfortable; letting go into relaxation is certainly a practice.

In my last blog, I mentioned that one antidote to stress is to allow ourselves pleasurable and fun activities that will help us relax. As usual, this looks different for everyone. What it looks like is less important than how it feels. It can be those instagrammable moments of waves lapping gently on a beach. Or it might be taking a few moments before you start your car to drive home from work -  to breathe, soften, pause, process and rest. The more we practice creating this inner state, the more activities we can do from a place of relaxation. For me, it feels like an expansive softening, a movement of warmth throughout my being, a dropping in, and down, into myself. A place of ease. What does it feel like for you?

The term ‘rest and digest’ does nothing to incorporate all the essential human functions that most effectively take place from this state of wellbeing and relaxation. It can also be a place of vulnerability and rawness as we let down our guard in order to heal and process. Give yourself a little space, time, and understanding as you explore this rich state of being in your life!